Something we’ve been discussing over the weekend in the Vibe Shifters Tribe community group is the concept of pain and suffering and whether it’s a necessary precursor to personal growth. The discussion started with these lines from Leonard Cohen’s song, Anthem:
And I wanted to know whether people agreed with this. Is it the cracks we sustain in life that allow the light to get in? Can we fully connect with Who We Really Are only if we have been broken, or have known some sort of pain?
http://youtu.be/_e39UmEnqY8
The group felt that there was a difference between pain and suffering. They felt that with some types of pain (e.g. physical injury or illness) suffering is optional (i.e. it is a result of how we choose to think about what we’re going through), but that emotional pain (such as grief or abusive situations) always causes suffering.
The general consensus among the group was that pain, in and of itself, does not lead to growth because not all pain leads to suffering. But they did feel that contrast we experience through suffering did play a significant role in personal growth and the evolution of the self.
So here’s how I look at all of this:
I think that what makes the difference in terms of suffering is how we look at the situations. When the bad stuff happens, it either makes us bitter or it makes us stronger, and we’re the only ones who get to decide which way it’s going to go.
I think that when we choose to come here, we do so with the full knowledge and understanding that it may not always be easy. But we accept that as part of the adventure. We accept it because there IS no greater adventure than coming to a place where we forget that we are part of Source, where we forget how powerful we are, where we choose to live in limited ways just to experience what that’s like. And I think cracks, in such a scenario, may well be inevitable. Maybe getting “broken” is just part of our existence here.
But I also look at the cracks differently. I’m not sure they are cause by damaged inflicted from the outside. I think maybe they are caused by something emerging from the inside. I don’t think the light gets IN through the cracks, I think the light was always there and that what’s really happening is that the light is getting OUT through the cracks. We bring the light here with us. Inside of us. And when we’re ready for it to come out, the cracks form, like a hatching egg. Or the splitting of a chrysalis.
There is a statue by Paige Bradley that I absolutely love (see image at the top of this page). The piece is called “Expansion” and to me, it epitomizes all of this is such a simple, beautiful way. When you look at the statue at night, it glows, and you can see that the light is within the woman, pouring out of her into the world around her. The cracks are caused by her expansion and metamorphosis into something greater, and it is that something greater that is emerging through the light.
Perhaps suffering and personal growth do go hand in hand. But none of that can touch the light within. When you look at Bradley’s statue, it’s so easy to see that the woman can’t truly be broken, dimmed or diminished, because that light pouring out IS her — the real her, who she really is. The body, the pain, and the suffering, is just the shell. The cracks are in the shell, but they are not in the Being within.
Yes, Nathalie, all very good points and the conversation on FB was really awesome. I just can’t help thinking that suffering and bad experiences can bring out the worst in people and they can remain jaded from life. This happens often and it a pervading problem. I think hard knocks make some more paranoid, insecure, nasty, and difficult to work and be with.
Now, you will tell me, if encountering such a person, stay away from them, raise your vibration and you will be led to better pastures, which is all true, but how about the jaded person? This world is full of them and we come into contact with them all the time and life made them that way. They do not fix themselves and I do feel sorry for them at times, but most times they piss me off, but why can’t everyone just be better, you know? I guess the answer to this would be, because without the bad we can’t appreciate the good, so, then, is everything in our favor, even if those people still get away with crap?
Life doesn’t make you anything, A. You make yourself. Bad stuff happens. What you choose to do with it, how you choose to think about it, and how you choose to react to it… that’s what determines what you’re going to become because of it. It’s like excusing criminal behaviour from people because “society failed them”. It has nothing to do with society. I’ve known a great many people in my life who have been through hell, several times over. I’m one of them. But not everyone who has been through horrible situations uses their experience as an excuse to lash out at others. Not everyone becomes jaded, and not everyone becomes nasty. That is a choice.
Being angry about the people who choose the other path does nothing for you. It brings your own vibe down, and it brings more of those people into your life. Every one can be better, when they are ready to be. But not everyone will choose that, and there’s nothing you can do about it. You cannot choose someone else’s path for them. You do not have that power, nor should you. All you can do is life your life in the way that works for you. And maybe that will be enough to help someone else see that something different is possible for them, too.